Ezekiel 33:31-32 "My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice. With their mouths they express devotion, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice."
I have decided to join our church during their week long time of prayer and fasting. Yes, this means I may only be fasting for two days, but still, it's two days devoted to searching and listening to God. Last night during our meeting a pastor shared Ezekiel 33:31, which talks about believers who hear the word, but then never do it. They confess with their mouth they are Christians, but never really act on it. This alone was very convicting to me. I thought gosh, I have really slipped from the higher level of action I once had in my Christian walk. Now I am content to do my devotionals, go to church, listen to my Christian radio, and feel quite good about myself and my walk with God. But when I really stopped to examine the evidence of that walk- sadly it was pretty bleak. When was the last time I really shared my hope of living with someone else? When was the last time I ever even mentioned I go to church to anyone who isn't a Christian? Heck, why haven't I invited either of my neighbors to church, especially now that we have a new one starting in our very neighborhood?
This filled me with a desire and a passion to have that passion and fire reignited. I really prayed for the Holy Spirit to come and light the fire again and give me the strength, the boldness, and the sensitivity to see his devine appointments and reach out to others around me.
*Well gosh, that sounds all perfect and good right?*
Well, today I actually started the fast. I thought okay, if I'm going to do this, I'm jumping in with both feet. I really want to hear from the Lord. So during my lunch time at work I decided to spend the time doing a little devotional. I really didn't know where to start, but I felt a tugging to re-examine the scripture that started all of this in the first place. So I pulled up Exk 33:31 on my handy little iPhone (yes, I'm that addicted) and I reread the verse. However, this time, God wasn't speaking so much to the doing part, but the the "hearts greedy for unjust gain" part.
Initially I was like, "God, why are you pointing this part out to me? I'm not a greedy person." But then in that wonderful loving way that God has to simply politely listen and then show me what really is going on, He touched my heart to really examine that idea.
I may not be a penny-pinching tightwad that strives and strives to earn more and more money. I don't hold back when I see a need or when it comes to giving. But God has a way of digging deeper. How about those times when I misclassify things on my time-card, is that greedy? What about the times I've simply rationalized why I shouldn't do something or give a hand- is that really greed sneeking up? And when I got right down to it, I thought, you know I really am more greedy than I thought.
So now not only is God working on relighting my passion, but He's setting out the sweep away all the dust that was covering the wick in the first place.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Lessons Learned
Well today I got an email from family that was touching, sad, but touching. It was an email that was sent to my sister-in-law from a medic "Caroline" who worked on my brother David after the attack in Iraq. It struck a cord on two sides of my brain. On the analytical nurse side it finally gave some insight and answers to what actually happened to him. Five years after his death I still didn't know what the real cause of death was. Apparently he had some internal bleeding. That answers that.
The other side of my brain was the mushy/touchy/feely/little sister side. The email was exerpts from the medic's journal she wrote after the incident. She wrote repeatedly about how kind, loving, friendly, and thankful David was to everyone who was around him. This touched me. Not only did it give me peace to know he wasn't alone when he passed, but it touched me to know that even though he was dying he was still making friends and influencing people. That's just the way he was. And that's how I want to be too (well, if I could postpone the whole dying part for awhile). Even in the darkest hours, can I still be a shining light to those around me? Enough of a light to still ring true in a stranger's heart 5 years later? I hope so. I strive to be so.
As a nurse, I often see people at their worst moments. I'm not offended or hurt by some of those encounters because I always try to remember in the back of my head this could very well be one of the crappiest days of this person's life. It's common for patients to be cranky, pushy, or distant. I guess that's what touched me so much about this email. She talked about how David was so thankful and kind and loving. That is a side of patients we don't always get to see. And especially knowing how much David hated and feared needles and that this was probably the worst day of his life, it meant even that much more to me.
Lessons learned: 1. Be nice. Be nice even when you feel like you're dying. What type of memory do you want to leave on the people around you if this is the last time they will ever get to see you.
2. Reach out to people. David was reaching out to these medics up until the end. But even more than that- this medic- Caroline- reached out to my family more than 5 years later. How easy it would have been for her to never share her thoughts and experiences. Brush it off as "Oh, nobody cares about what I've seen/lived.", "I wouldn't want to bother them.", "It's not that important.", "What if they are offended, my words are perfect, I don't know what to say.". How many times have I thought these same things and not reached out to someone. But now being on the other end of it, seeing how much even just scattered thoughts can really mean to someone, I want to be sure to share whatever I know. It can truly change someone's life.
So thank you to the stranger that I will probably never meet, but who has touched my life deeply.
The other side of my brain was the mushy/touchy/feely/little sister side. The email was exerpts from the medic's journal she wrote after the incident. She wrote repeatedly about how kind, loving, friendly, and thankful David was to everyone who was around him. This touched me. Not only did it give me peace to know he wasn't alone when he passed, but it touched me to know that even though he was dying he was still making friends and influencing people. That's just the way he was. And that's how I want to be too (well, if I could postpone the whole dying part for awhile). Even in the darkest hours, can I still be a shining light to those around me? Enough of a light to still ring true in a stranger's heart 5 years later? I hope so. I strive to be so.
As a nurse, I often see people at their worst moments. I'm not offended or hurt by some of those encounters because I always try to remember in the back of my head this could very well be one of the crappiest days of this person's life. It's common for patients to be cranky, pushy, or distant. I guess that's what touched me so much about this email. She talked about how David was so thankful and kind and loving. That is a side of patients we don't always get to see. And especially knowing how much David hated and feared needles and that this was probably the worst day of his life, it meant even that much more to me.
Lessons learned: 1. Be nice. Be nice even when you feel like you're dying. What type of memory do you want to leave on the people around you if this is the last time they will ever get to see you.
2. Reach out to people. David was reaching out to these medics up until the end. But even more than that- this medic- Caroline- reached out to my family more than 5 years later. How easy it would have been for her to never share her thoughts and experiences. Brush it off as "Oh, nobody cares about what I've seen/lived.", "I wouldn't want to bother them.", "It's not that important.", "What if they are offended, my words are perfect, I don't know what to say.". How many times have I thought these same things and not reached out to someone. But now being on the other end of it, seeing how much even just scattered thoughts can really mean to someone, I want to be sure to share whatever I know. It can truly change someone's life.
So thank you to the stranger that I will probably never meet, but who has touched my life deeply.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A Little Catch Up
Hahahaha, okay, so my last post was on my way to the first day of class. And now I'm a week away from starting my second semester. Oh well. For those of you who I know are so very curious, I did get an A in my first class. So I figure I should apply for all those grad school scholarships now since my GPA is 4.0, and do it before I take any more classes and screw that up! :)
NEWayz, today was a good day of catch up. I have had 2 weeks off in between classes and I started with this huge list of things I was going to do with my time off. And as usual, I have not completed many of these tasks. And tonight, after biking 6.5 miles with my sweetie, I thought I was going to come up to my office and start checking things off. But you know, I got distracted checking email and such and I realized there were other things I could do too. Like fix my blog from all those photos that didn't show up. Or actually make a new post. And you know, I feel relaxed and happy knowing that I just got some good quality "me" time in. Sure, my to-do list is still looming, but you know, sometimes you have to just turn your back on all the lists and follow your heart.
And if you are still in a funk, listen to a little "Portable Sounds" by Toby Mac and it will clear any of that up....
So here's to the end of day well spent and to another tomorrow to accomplish all those "to-do's"!
NEWayz, today was a good day of catch up. I have had 2 weeks off in between classes and I started with this huge list of things I was going to do with my time off. And as usual, I have not completed many of these tasks. And tonight, after biking 6.5 miles with my sweetie, I thought I was going to come up to my office and start checking things off. But you know, I got distracted checking email and such and I realized there were other things I could do too. Like fix my blog from all those photos that didn't show up. Or actually make a new post. And you know, I feel relaxed and happy knowing that I just got some good quality "me" time in. Sure, my to-do list is still looming, but you know, sometimes you have to just turn your back on all the lists and follow your heart.
And if you are still in a funk, listen to a little "Portable Sounds" by Toby Mac and it will clear any of that up....
So here's to the end of day well spent and to another tomorrow to accomplish all those "to-do's"!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Can you believe it?!
Can you believe it?! My inbox is EMPTY!!! I haven't seen the bottom of this tray since October! Man it feels great to be cleaned out and organized. I'm sure it will probably last all of a day, but I'll savor the moment for now!Ahhhh.......
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Long Hard Awful Day
The best part of today is that it's almost done! Thank God that His
blessings are new everyday!
This is a view from inside the elevator with the ground floor selected, my ticket out of here...
blessings are new everyday!
This is a view from inside the elevator with the ground floor selected, my ticket out of here...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Yeah Football
I love football Sundays! Mostly for the snuggling, but you know, whatever works. Bring on the playoffs! Now if only the Broncos were playing...
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